With the Supreme Court hearings on gay marriage starting today in Washington, D.C. the social media world has come together to show solidarity using his red image.
Now how does that impact a young Catholic like me? Well at first, I didn't know how to react. On one hand, I just finished my Theology of the Body course and started to fully understand the Catholic Church's position on same-sex marriages, but at the same time I also believe in equal rights and consider myself an ally to the LGBTQ community.
However, I realize that I don't need to pick a side. I believe in both the Catholic church's teachings AND equal rights for everyone! How is that possible? I'll try my best to explain, while it is extremely clear in my head, I am not the most articulate and there are lots of judgment, misunderstandings, preconceived notions that one must cut through in order to get to what I think to be the heart of the problem. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but from where I stand here's what it is and why I think I can stand on both sides.
I think that the church and the society has had some miscommunication, and it is bound to happen when such a sensitive and emotional topic is at hand. I think what we are calling "marriage" has multiple senses and that the common sense and the theological sense of the term "marriage" has been fused together (by mistake) in the discussion on same-sex marriages.
First off, every couple should have equal rights as every other couples (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States) whether their union is homosexual or heterosexual. After all, from my studies within the church, which I undertook in attempt to form better arguments against it, God created all of us as equals. Therefore, we should be fighting for the rights and responsibility that comes from marriage and two people of whatever gender should be allowed to marry in this sense. Why should one's love determine our legal rights and responsibilities as married persons?
On the side of the church, marriage is not directly related legal rights and responsibilities but rather it is the sacrament of matrimony or the "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring." Matrimony comes from the Latin term mater, "mother," and monium, "-mony" (status) and signifies the creation of the status of mother. So in this sense, only through marriage between a man and woman accepting children into their lives can fulfill the sacrament of matrimony. There are also many conditions for the sacrament of matrimony such as no other vocations that will get in the way of marriage (other marriages, holy order etc.), agreeing to accept children from God (using natural family planning instead of artificial forms of contraception), and so forth. Unknown to many, is that there are many marriages (gay and straight) that the Catholic church do not recognize as full sacraments of matrimony. And to clarify, contrary to popular belief, not getting a sacrament does not equal damnation. Sacraments are meant to bring God (grace) into ones heart and ones life, it's not by any means a "collect all your badges in order to get to heaven" kind of ordeal.
So we have
Marriage operationalized as a union with human rights
Marriage operationalized as a spiritual sacrament of matrimony for natural procreation
I think that we all need to realize that while we speak the same language, we're not saying the same thing. Perhaps we need to calm down, take down those walls, communicate with each other without assuming that we're referring to the same things, listen and truly try to understand where the other side is coming from. Perhaps then, we will realize that we're more allies than we are enemies.
Then again, I might be all wrong, I might really have a shallow understanding of this issue, perhaps I don't fully understand this issue from both sides the way I think I do. I admit that and I'll own up to it. Perhaps I'm really naive to believe that this is a case of different operationalizations of a term. Please forgive me if this is the case, I will be more than happy to become more educated on both sides of this issue and hear out your perspective.
On social media, I'm choosing to not reflect my position on this issue to prevent confusion and unnecessary negative emotions from either side. However, I believe that when you come to know me, you will find that my position will be reflected in my actions, my words, and my heart the way it always has been. I believe this speaks way more than a red profile picture.
Much Love,
Keyne
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