Unlucky

Sometimes, we have really bad days... bad weeks... and it feels like nothing is going right no matter how hard you try. 

Yup. That's me right now. 

I think I've hit the bottom in terms of how bad things can go this time around. 

This is my first semester without a UPass (special bus fare used by university students). This morning, I remembered that I am out of bus tickets, and so I went to 7/11 to purchase a new booklet of bus tickets. On my way home from school, I forgot to validate a bus ticket on the way down to the skytrain station from school (I usually enter from the back door of the bus with my UPass when it picks students up from campus). So as I was walking up the stairs to the skytrain platform, I remembered that I haven't validated a bus ticket yet. So I booked it back down to the machines to validate my ticket and as a result missed my train. I remember looking at my ticket, expiry time 6:00P, before putting it into my pocket.  When I finally got on to my train, I sat down and got all lost in my thoughts. It's been a terrible couple of weeks, and I was emotionally and physically drained. I was on my edge. So the train ride home, I was starting to feel better and that things are starting to look up. By the time I got back to Royal Oak Station, I was feeling good, finally. When I saw the cops in the stairwell checking validated tickets, I thought to myself, "Thank God, I went back down the stairs when I remembered that I needed to validate my ticket!!" I reached into my pocket, and my ticket wasn't there. I frantically searched every pocket on me, in my bag, etc. for my ticket but it was nowhere to be found. Cops were making jokes about how at the very least I got to meet the cop who was about to write me a ticket. How could they be so cruel to tease me, and say shit like "at least you get to meet this guy over here" and "oh, your last name is Law, you can't break the law" well FUCK YOU. Why can't people be more considerate, you guys are about to give me a ticket even though I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm standing there freaking out about finding my bus fare. So I kinda lost it, crumpled down on the floor at the skytrain station and bawled. 

Of ALL days. UGH!

The fight for Marriage Equality

The world went Red.

With the Supreme Court hearings on gay marriage starting today in Washington, D.C. the social media world has come together to show solidarity using his red image.

Now how does that impact a young Catholic like me? Well at first, I didn't know how to react. On one hand, I just finished my Theology of the Body course and started to fully understand the Catholic Church's position on same-sex marriages, but at the same time I also believe in equal rights and consider myself an ally to the LGBTQ community.

However, I realize that I don't need to pick a side. I believe in both the Catholic church's teachings AND equal rights for everyone! How is that possible? I'll try my best to explain, while it is extremely clear in my head, I am not the most articulate and there are lots of judgment, misunderstandings, preconceived notions that one must cut through in order to get to what I think to be the heart of the problem. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but from where I stand here's what it is and why I think I can stand on both sides.

I think that the church and the society has had some miscommunication, and it is bound to happen when such a sensitive and emotional topic is at hand. I think what we are calling "marriage" has multiple senses and that the common sense and the theological sense of the term "marriage" has been fused together (by mistake) in the discussion on same-sex marriages.


First off, every couple should have equal rights as every other couples (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States) whether their union is homosexual or heterosexual. After all, from my studies within the church, which I undertook in attempt to form better arguments against it, God created all of us as equals. Therefore, we should be fighting for the rights and responsibility that comes from marriage and two people of whatever gender should be allowed to marry in this sense. Why should one's love determine our legal rights and responsibilities as married persons?

On the side of the church, marriage is not directly related legal rights and responsibilities but rather it is the sacrament of matrimony or the "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring." Matrimony comes from the Latin term mater, "mother," and monium, "-mony" (status) and signifies the creation of the status of mother. So in this sense, only through marriage between a man and woman accepting children into their lives can fulfill the sacrament of matrimony. There are also many conditions for the sacrament of matrimony such as no other vocations that will get in the way of marriage (other marriages, holy order etc.), agreeing to accept children from God (using natural family planning instead of artificial forms of contraception), and so forth. Unknown to many, is that there are many marriages (gay and straight) that the Catholic church do not recognize as full sacraments of matrimony. And to clarify, contrary to popular belief, not getting a sacrament does not equal damnation. Sacraments are meant to bring God (grace) into ones heart and ones life, it's not by any means a "collect all your badges in order to get to heaven" kind of ordeal.

So we have
Marriage operationalized as a union with human rights
Marriage operationalized as a spiritual sacrament of matrimony for natural procreation 

I think that we all need to realize that while we speak the same language, we're not saying the same thing. Perhaps we need to calm down, take down those walls, communicate with each other without assuming that we're referring to the same things, listen and truly try to understand where the other side is coming from. Perhaps then, we will realize that we're more allies than we are enemies.

Then again, I might be all wrong, I might really have a shallow understanding of this issue, perhaps I don't fully understand this issue from both sides the way I think I do. I admit that and I'll own up to it. Perhaps I'm really naive to believe that this is a case of different operationalizations of a term. Please forgive me if this is the case, I will be more than happy to become more educated on both sides of this issue and hear out your perspective.

On social media, I'm choosing to not reflect my position on this issue to prevent confusion and unnecessary negative emotions from either side. However, I believe that when you come to know me, you will find that my position will be reflected in my actions, my words, and my heart the way it always has been. I believe this speaks way more than a red profile picture.


Much Love,
Keyne

Thoughts on Pope Francis

Dear Friends,

HABEMUS PAPAM FRANCISCUM!

 We have a new pope!

I must say, I have a really good feeling about Pope Francis. I've been reading up on this man and I'm definitely excited to see the changes he'll bring to the Catholic church. Now, in this day and age, an event of this caliber and a man of such great importance will not be without negativity and slander from the media and the internet. One of the biggest pieces the media is working with is Bergoglio's role in the "dirty war" from betraying priests to stealing babies. I'm in no way denying that Pope Francis have never done such terrible deeds, but at the same time why do we, as a society, love digging skeletons out of people's closets and make judgment on their character for something that happened decades ago?

 If you were placed in a difficult situation in the middle of the war, and you either die or you betray your friend what would you do? Of course, of course you would say that you would rather die than to betray your friend, and to live in guilt... right? Right now, I say, I would NEVER betray a friend in a situation like that... but my background in psychology also tells me that this is a common response, but when shit hits the fan (pardon my language) you and I are going to break and we'll betray each other for our own survival. Simple, it's human instinct. Recall the protagonist, Winston Smith, from "1984": not going to betray his lover, not going to... but once they stick him in Room 101 and rats are coming at his face... he breaks, "DO IT TO JULIA!" he screams.. and 2+2=5. Is this the right, moral thing to do? Probably not. We keep forgetting that we're all ONLY human. You and I are only human. The priests are only human. The pope is only human. The saints are only human. Our flesh is weak and worldly. So shit, we all sin, we all make mistakes, some more detrimental than others.

 I'm sure we've all heard the quote "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" or the less fancy version, "It's not about how you fall, it's how you get back up." I see shit tons of people pinning this quote on Pinterest to remind themselves that it's their perseverance and not their failures that matter and I think it's true. I try to remind myself of that every time I fuck up. Here's the thing, this quote, it's not just something we should use to defend our own self-perception and to make ourselves feel better about our own fuckups, it's something to keep in mind when we look at other people's fuckups as well. So come on people, give Pope Francis some credit. If this was something he did then yes, the Holy Father fucked up, but shit, the guy got back up and he made something of it (probably learned a shit ton that led him to being the humble pope we have today). If more people I knew got back up after they fucked up, learned something out of it, and never made the same mistake again... why, we'd be springing forward as a society like no tomorrow.

Love,
Keyne

PS. The above are all just personal opinions made without any accusatory or offensive intentions.
PPS. Sorry for all the swearing.

Flying South

A few more days and I'll be heading south for my interview! Excited and nervous at the same time.

Titles and Expertise

I always have trouble coming up with descriptions for "about me" sections.

I ended up signing up for this website "Quora" just to feed my curiosity about things and see what people have to say about various topics and I was prompted to write a description of myself that would identify me... I'm also guessing my expertise so when I answer questions people can decide how heavily they want to weigh my opinion.

Anyways, I always end up reading other people's descriptions to get some inspiration. From the few I read, it seems like people like to describe themselves using titles. I'm guessing part of it is because you are supposed to show your expertise on this website, but I started to feel weird. Do we need these titles in order to feel important and like our opinions matter? Some people like to use fancy words to describe themselves and what they like do but why do we need to do that? I guess sometimes fall into this trap too. As most people, who know me well, know, I love doing research in the area of clinical psychology... but does that mean that I need to label myself as a clinical researcher? I went to an arts school and I love to paint everything... but does that mean I need to label myself as an artist? I study psychology, but does that mean I need to label myself as a psychologist? I guess I'm uncomfortable with slapping these big labels and titles on little old me.

So what did I write in my description?

"student of life for life."

Multiple Regressions

I'm so glad I went on the SIS system to check the rooms for the tutorials I'm teaching when I did. Saw that the multiple regressions re-opened and registered right away! Although I had an overnight shift right before the first class, I was so pumped that I didn't need coffee to keep me awake. No exams, but the course assignments are applications of the course material onto our own research! That being said, I get to use my own data in the assignments! I was so excited after I read this on my syllabus that I started jotting down ideas right away as the prof talked about the types of analyses required for the assignment. I have a another one of manuscript ideas that I can get off the floor now! Super excited! Two birds, one stone!

Class dismissed!

The last tutorials of the semester were held this week. The feelings are bittersweet. Sweet in that Christmas is just around the corner, yet bitter because I realize that I'll never see my students as a class again. While some students came up to me and thanked me for all my help this semester, I also had students who left the class quickly and quietly like it was just another week without saying goodbye... and of course the regular stragglers who still had many questions to ask. I really hope that what I've done for my students this semester is enough.

Nervous to get my first TA evaluations.

ABCT 2012: Washington, DC - Pt. 2

I'm terrible at blogging! I should set up my schedule to have blogging hour out something.

Anyways, the rest of ABCT...

Friday wasn't too great, the POI that my PI was going to introduce me to couldn't make the conference. I was thoroughly disappointed. The whole grad school application process has already drained the self-confidence I had, so with the conference being as overwhelming as it is (with all the awesome research and researchers) my self-esteem was destroyed and I was defeated. Fortunately, the grad students a d other RAs in my lab were there to support me and comfort me!

Once you hit rock bottom, the only direction left to go is up.

Saturday was good in that I went to some interesting talks and poster sessions. I got to talk to students of a couple POIs I'm applying to work with. My own poster presentations went well and we had an amazing lab dinner where my PI and previous grad student mentor talked about my project which reassured me that I might not be as hopeless as I've been thinking for the past few months.

Sunday was amazing in that I had a great conversation with one of the grad students of the POI who I really really want to work with. Then an epic night in DC and then home sweet home!

ABCT 2012: Washington, DC - Pt. 1

I finally have the time to blog! Well, more like I decided I should just start blogging when I go to conferences just to keep people posted. Well, whoever reads this anyways. So yesterday morning, dad and I woke up bright and early (5:30am, ugh) to get to the airport for my flight. I get all these funny looks because I have this massive tube on me. The guy at securities looked at me and thought that there was a J.Biebz poster in my giant tube... and he thought I was a high school student.... I guess it's probably because I wasn't wearing any makeup LOL. I slept for most of the flight to Minneapolis for my transfer to BWI (we meet again, Minneapolis.) This time, I made sure I triple checked the gate number for my transfer. Long story short, last time I was flying to Orlando I had a 3 hour layover and decided to work and the gate number changed on me and I almost missed my flight, good thing I heard my name being called. I still had to book it this time though, since my gate was on the other side of the airport and I got caught up helping a Chinese granny figure out her gate. On the flight to Baltimore, I had a super talkative seat neighbour who showed me all the pictures on his phone and told me everything about his kids, twice. So much for studying for the GRE. Once we landed in BWI, I just had the urge to break out in song, "GOOD MORNING, BALTIMORE!!!" Too bad it was about 7pm at night. By the time I transited to my host's place, it was 9 and I was about to die. She was super amazing and made me tea and everything. Finally had the chance to turn in for the night, texted my parents to let them know I'm safe. I was feeling super homesick for some reason and so my mom's response actually made me cry.

This morning, I got text messages from my host letting me know that there's a really awesome breakfast place with wifi nearby. Went there for an awesome omelette bagel (NTS: 2 eggs, red onion, red peppers) and freshly squeezed orange juice, got all caught up on emails and messages. Stayed for a while and then walked to Prometric for the GREs. Afterwards, went back to my host's to pick up my stuff and off I go again. Another 2 hour transit to National Harbor, got there before my roommates and got to lounge around and get all comfortable for a couple of hours which was really nice (especially after that horrible, horrible exam! 

I'm ready to start one of my favourite weekends of the year, ABCT WEEKEND!!! =)

Meeting my research hero tomorrow, I can't wait! 

LoveK. 

Graduate Record Exams

Since I'm applying to graduate programs this year, I had to write the dreaded GRE. Well, I've actually written it once already last year, but that was before the revised version came out and I didn't exactly spend a lot of time studying... So this year, I spent a year with the vocabulary and tried my best to do math without pulling out my calculator. Then big serious study sessions and doing actual practice problems from May until October. Being a Teaching Assistant for a writing intensive course really helped because I basically teach my students and grade them on things that I need to know for the Analytical Writing component. Around September, I realized that I actually have a lot of GRE books... It turns out I have the ETS, Princeton, and Barrons study guides (all which I purchased at a bookstore's closing out sale in Seattle) and then I purchased the Kaplan this year to get more info on the revised version. Anyways, I got sick a week before my exam and unfortunately had to write my exam sick. I did pretty good on the Verbal Reasoning and Analytical Writing, but unfortunately my Quantitative Reasoning took a hit because my head was feeling all stuffed up. Oh well, I guess I'm going to go in for a rewrite so that I don't have to worry about my Quant score being a weak spot on my application.

I think my biggest advice to people studying for the GRE Quant section would be to review the math material (I recommend Kaplan's math review section in the back of the book, AND/OR Barron's math review), take a look at some of the tips and tricks you can use to cut down on time and work spent on each question (I personally loved using the Princeton study guide for this), and then before you go drilling practice questions do one of the free Princeton FREE practice exam (timed) at http://www.princetonreview.com/grad/free-gre-practice-test.aspx this practice exam helped me figure out what kinds of questions I was having the most trouble with, provided answers, and showed me how I was distributing my time among questions. The Analytical Writing section of this practice exam also gets graded and you get feedback from people about your writing which is GREAT! Then, drill the math like no tomorrow (work do the questions throughout the study guides, at the back of the book) and don't forget to go back and try the questions you didn't get the first time again after you check the answer, do another practice test on the Princeton website to see if you're doing better. Then keep practicing the questions (you can start easing off) and do the practice tests that ETS provides (http://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/prepare/powerprep2). Taking the practice exams really helped me focus and feel more relaxed (Turns out that I knew way more than I thought I did for the quant section).

When you go into the exam, just breathe, relax, and treat it like you're just doing another practice exam. I think I wore the same sweater as I did while I was doing practice exams (My moisturizer leaves this really nice smell on the sweaters I wear at home so that helped me relax a lot). I got super comfortable in my seat (curled up on the chair like I would at home) so while my mind just focused on the exam, I actually felt like I was writing the exam at my kitchen table.

I think I felt more nervous walking out than walking in because I had no idea if my score were good enough... felt like they were but turns out that I could've done a bit better on Quant. Damn headache! Oh well, learn from my mistakes... (take care of my body first before trying to power through everything) and I guess I'll do better next time. Third time's the charm!

K.

Productivity, productivity.

Our lab exec team had our semesterly "manuscript/conference presentation" meeting today, and I'm really excited because after I finish the manuscript from my honours thesis and submit it, and hopefully publish it (fingers crossed), there's also the qualitative analysis of the narratives from my honours project to write up, as well as examining the moderating role of trait rumination on state rumination and the variables I examined in my honours project. I have two posters to present at this year's ABCT, and my supervisor also suggested putting together posters for these ideas for next year's ABCT. There's also the Meta-Analysis evaluation poster that Ramsay and I are planning to submit to APA 2013 in Hawaii! So there's lots of exciting research goodness to keep me busy and productive this year! I LOVE IT!

Oh and not to mention, my dream supervisor for grad school might be dropping by my poster at ABCT this year! I'm super stoked! I'm also thinking about using my honours thesis data to apply for grad school funding because I really do hope that I can build on that project and make it bigger and better!

K

Academic Milestones

2011 and 2012 are definitely full of academic milestones for me!

Nov 2011 - Presented my first poster at ABCT. The best part was having Blair Wisco (one of my research crushes) drop by my poster and I didn't know I was talking to her until I saw the email she left me to get more information about my poster! My little heart definitely skipped a beat when I saw her name in my notebook after she walked off to see the other posters.

Jan 2012 - My first research project (completely designed, set up, and ran by me with support from my supervisor and the awesome grad students in my lab) went live!

Jan 2012 to March 2012 - Collecting 120 participants over the course of 2 months was definitely strenuous and took a lot out of me, but boy was it worth it! It was almost legit and not "just" an honours project... and now I have this massive data set full of things I want to examine!

April 2012 - Submitted and defended my honours thesis and passed with flying colours!
I am so thankful because I have the most wonderful supervisor, mentors, and also the friends I made in my honours cohort who have provided me with so much encouragement and moral support throughout the entire process. Where would I be without PERL and the Psyc Honours 2011-2012 cohort?

May 2012 - Applied for part-time social sciences VPR USRA was rejected but offered full-time sciences VPR USRA. Both posters that I submitted to ABCT 2012 was accepted. Poster from my honours project, that I submitted before Alex even looked at it, was accepted. First first-author poster!

July 2012 - Emailed Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema to see if she was accepting students next year. She said yes! Invited her to visit my poster at ABCT, and she said she'll try to stop by! Fingers crossed that she remembers me =)

August 2012 - First manuscript, from my honours thesis, is in progress!



Is it bad that I get so excited about school?

Nerd Life FOREVER!

K

If there was an academic horoscope, mine would read: Today is an auspicious day for research.

So many good things are happening for my research projects today! 

I can finally complete and finalize my research poster for ABCT this weekend. I found a way to get it printed for free thanks to my super awesome boyfriend, and SHE EMAILED ME BACK! 

I have the hugest research crush on Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema, who does research on rumination and other cognitive processes and their relationship to depression. I have a binder on my bookshelf dedicated to articles with her name on it. So lo and behold, while preparing the materials for my honours project (on rumination, of course), I had the opportunity to email her for rumination inductions! I waited for a week and she still hasn't replied, so I decided to email her again to follow up and within an hour her name popped up in my email! I'm so excited for so many different reasons:

1. She emailed me back so quickly. 

2. I just need to put in the rumination instructions into Remark and my study materials are practically complete.

3. Applying for ethics is just right around the corner.

That will be two major milestones for my academic career! Definitely an auspicious day for research =)

Poster Submission and Conferences

I'm really excited because I'm submitting a poster for the ABCT Convention this year (as mentioned in previous post). I'm going through the whole submission process right now and life feels so unreal. I don't feel like just a student doing the same thing everyday. It feels like my dream of becoming a psychologist from 11 years ago is finally falling into place. My goals feel like they are within grasp. It's all happening. It's really happening. My heart is pounding. I can't believe it!

I've also just heard of the ISSS (International Society for the Study of Self-Injury) conference in June recently. It's another area that piques my interest so I'm starting to look at the possibility of heading down to New York for this one. I'm also looking for other potential conferences that might be of interest.That being said... I need more money so I can actually go and attend these conferences.

Research, ABCT Poster, and treasure hunts.

Update

So I know I haven't blogged for a while, but I've been busy... REAL busy! I'm taking 3 courses this semester to give myself a breather but it's actually been a lot busier compared to my usual 5 course semesters. So just an update, I'm in Couples Research and Therapy (I actually don't NEED it... but it looked interesting and I wanted a 3rd course), Applied Gerontology, and Health and Illness in Later Life. It's been a pretty good semester so far. All work, no exams to that makes me happy.

Research

I've been working on several research projects lately, which is really exciting. One is for my Applied Gerontology class where we are looking at predictors of vaccination status and other potential mediators that might fit in there. I'm still working on the meta-analysis project on suppression for the lab and also our treatment study is starting up at the end of March! I'm really excited! I get to code videos of treatment sessions! 

ABCT Poster

After attendng ABCT last year, which was probably the most exciting thing event I have ever attended (Yes, 10x better than cheerleading competitions), I started really thinking about contributing to research. So now I'm working on a poster to present at next year's conference. My topic is rumination as a mediator in the relationship between the socialization of emotion and depression. Originally, it was supposed to be rejection sensitivity and social avoidance but the measure for rejection sensitivity was really bad and things got too exciting when I was analyzing the data in the lab today so I could only choose one part of what I found to present. 

Treasure Hunt

Analyzing data in the lab today made me realize that research is like a treasure hunt. You're not going to hit jackpot everyday, and that can get frustrating, but you have to celebrate little successes along the way. A tiny piece of gold, is still gold. When you start making constant findings, you're suddenly obsessed and you need to find that next piece. You'll probably find something small, then something bigger, and bigger and bigger. Then you put everything you found together and there it is: your treasure. Raw data is your map and syntax is your compass. To Keyne several years down the road in grad school: when you're feeling hopeless and tired in graduate school and reading this blog to procrastinate. Remember this feeling today. Remember to celebrate those little pieces of gold. Remember, it's worth it!

APA Style.

I recently confirmed that I really hate doing group projects. I'm in Applied Gerontology this semester, and this requires us to do conduct a study on our own. I'm in a group with a social loafer, an older woman, and a nervous wreckball of a "team leader."

I was recently accused by this "team leader" of PLAGIARIZING and not knowing how to cite properly using APA Style. If I could have sent her a slap via email, I would have. Those who are in psychology know that EVERYTHING we do have to be in APA (speaking of which, did you know that new APA guidelines call for two spaces after each period?). She had "edited" my portion of our lit review for our research proposal and added citations where "she thought was needed." I had already cited my sources, and the paragraphs were basically summaries of the study and how I interpreted the graphs and data. She later changed the back to back citations of the same article to Ibid. to "eliminate some of the noise" in our lit. review. When I rebutted and showed her proof that you can indeed paraphrase and summarize things without citing every sentence (as long as the author has been credited) she told me "she stands corrected" and fears that if she didn't "fix" my citations we would fail our project on the grounds of plagiarism. She then emailed our group and commented on how "some of the members in our group" are "inadequate" in their ability to write in APA style leaving her to do all the work. The worst part is the rest of my group just follows her like blind sheep. This is a woman that also freaked out over the order of the prof's powerpoint slides.

I really hate group projects. I really hate being told I can't write in APA style even though it's all I wrote in for the last 4 years. I hate sheeple. Oh, and I hate being the youngest person in a class of people who all have a degree already. Nobody listens to me, and nobody takes my suggestions seriously.

I need more days off.

I don't think my family understand the amount of work I have on my plate. I hate how my mom expects everyone to work around her schedule and how she's not in the very least accommodating or understanding of other people's situations. My dad just thinks that I'm lazy and that I don't care about the family.

This is really frustrating. Neither of them have been in university, so they don't understand the work that comes with a degree. They don't get that I'm working hard to get into honours or to boost up my CGPA to get into grad school. All they know is: I'm never home for dinner, washing dishes is my last priority, and I do nothing but "my own stuff." I don't think they realize how hard it is to get into grad school and that this is what I need to focus all my energy on. I do what I can around the house already. I clean when there are people coming over, I clean my own room, I wash the dishes, I do the laundry and when I have time I try to help out wherever I can. Then my dad comes into my room and starts a screaming match with me because I haven't done the dishes tonight yet and so that means I don't do shit around the house because I simply don't care.

My mom also recently got me a gig of typing up transcripts for the dermatologist she works for. I'm sorry but this gig is probably the second last thing on my mind right now. The last being the dishes. All my parents do is scream at me for not caring about their shit but do they care about mine? I really wonder. I really just want to move out  so I can focus on my work and actually use my spare time to do something for myself. I just wanted a breather after dinner and my mom started bitching at me for watching tv, then I come into my room to check my email and my dad comes in and bitches at me for not doing anything.

I used to think that once I'm successful in my career that I'd take care of the two of them and get them a house near my own... now I'm not so sure. Why should I take care of people who don't even think I care about them? Why should I care for stupid selfish people who think that everything they know is right? Why should I give a shit about two people that never even really gave a shit about me.

I live in PERL

I woke up at 7:30am and made my way to SFU yesterday morning. I don't know if I should feel happy or sad that I was the only person on the 145 bus heading up to school. Who goes to school at 9:30 in the morning four days after Christmas? I do. Our lab is running a new treatment study, and I'm one of the people in charge of training our research assistants how to run participants through one portion of the study. So I went in early yesterday to be trained myself. I love being the first person in the lab. Everything is quiet and I usually set my things down and just head over to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. When I used to work Sunday mornings by myself, I actually take the water boiling machine from the kitchen so I don't have to leave the observation room. I actually don't need to be in the lab as much anymore because a large portion of my work can be taken home and now that I've learned about accessing our lab file space through FTP things are even more convenient! However, I do feel most productive during those early mornings in the lab with my cup of tea.

I'm starting a new job, by the way. I'm getting trained to be an ABA therapist or Behavioral Interventionist.

Catching up

Term papers, finals, and getting ready for the holiday season was hectic this year! I haven't been able to post at all. Well, I have been posting... but smaller posts here and there on my Tumblr account (http://genuinelypassionately.tumblr.com/) instead of here. Unfortunately I can't seem to find an application for Blogger for my phone. The only way I can post through my Blackberry is by emailing to blogger... which I have to say I'm somewhat weirded out by. Tumblr, on the other hand had an application which lets me posts things a lot easier. People who know me will know that I'm someone who ACTUALLY uses a blackberry to write her term papers while travelling. Having a Tumlbr account lets me blog things almost immediately in a super convenient way. It allows me to add blogging to my list of things I can do while I'm transitioning between things. So here's what I now plan to do: I'll post short and sweet little posts on Tumblr and then elaborate more on the posts here on blogger. 

Final grades this semester just raised my CGPA by another .1! I'm slightly disappointed. I did really well on three courses and even got 109% as a final grade for one but I didn't perform so well in my online course. I really hate online courses. If I can avoid them, I would. Unfortunately for me, more than 70% of my gerontology minor's courses are only offered online. Warning: ranting in this section. That being said, the professor was also really unfair in that he never provided constructive feed back, tested us on things he never even taught us or were in the reading r,  and "VERY WELL DONE" only deserves 78%. The course was an upper division course with only 20 students but yet the grades were put on a normal bell curve. In all the upper division courses I have ever taken in my undergraduate courses, I have never had a professor who felt that doing this was fair. A higher level of work is already expected in upper division courses, grades land mostly in the A range because of all the previous hurdles that we had to pass to get to that upper division course in the first place. Scaling grades in a class of 20 people who are already performing very well academically means that only something like 6 out of a class of 20 A range students can get A grades and so forth. Does this sound fair to anyone? Scaling grades so everybody does worse.  Instead of having a grade that reflected my level of mastery, my grade reflects how other people did in the class... not only that, the difference between how well other people did and how well I did is so small that the professor had to give out marks that differ in the hundreths position. Have you ever received a 20.78 or 25.64 on anything before? The most I've seen profs do is give out quarter marks like 20.75 or something, and that's in my lower division courses. This grading scheme was completely ridiculous! Being a student who is working to pull their CGPA back on from screwing up royally in first year, I like to actually receive reasonable grades that I deserve and not some grade that satisfies a f*cking gaussian curve because "the department says this is what's statistically normal." This prof and the people who force departmental grade scaling needs to take a stats refresher. Statistically normal usually only occurs in a SAMPLE OF INFINITY and will probably not occur in sample of 20. Idiots. End of rant. 

Read about my Christmas holiday on my tumblr! I had to do most of my blogging through my phone during lineups at the shopping mall and bus rides because I was out all the time. 

Association of Cognitive and Behavior Therapy Conference

Good bye snowy Vancouver! Hello hopefully sunny San Francisco!